We have all been told to have better sex by being creative and adventurous. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how to better understand our deepest desires? It’s easy to say, “have better sex,” but until we can connect with that inner sexual persona and know exactly what she wants, we will always be lost.
When it comes to sexual fantasies, the list is endless. But for the purpose of this particular post, we will be focusing on women who enjoy pain with pleasure. If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you’re not alone. And those sexual needs you have aren’t crazy. All you need to do is figure out how to make them work for you.
The truth is, pain can release a rush of endorphins in our bodies, thereby intensifying pleasure. So if you like sex with a side of pain, it makes a lot of sense.
Don’t ever experiment with pain or BDSM without talking to your partner first. Make sure you understand each other’s boundaries before going in. It’s also smart to know the level of pain you can tolerate too so you can effectively communicate this to your partner. In addition, decide on a safeword beforehand. A safeword is a word or phrase you use during sex that lets the other person know they are going a little too far. It lets them know to either slow down or stop altogether.
Now to the ways you can enjoy pain and pleasure during sex
Spanking: This can either be done by hand or using some toys specifically made for this purpose. These toys come in different variants and some sting harder than others. They also feel differently on the skin so you may want to look into those to find your faves.
Hair-pulling: You can ask your man to give your hair a little tug during sex to amp up the thrill. Use words like ‘harder’, ‘slow down’ or the safeword so he knows just how hard to pull.
Body clamps: This is for women who want to explore constant pinching sensations in certain parts of the body. The most common ones are nipple clamps. These types of toys are clamped onto the skin, left for a short period of time, then removed. The pinching can provide a little (or a lot of) pain and when you take them off, the area becomes even more sensitive.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of all the kinds of pleasurable pain to explore. But these are great for beginners who want to test their tolerance and confirm if this is really what drives them wild.
For more, check out some fun sex positions for kinky sex newbies.
Featured Image via YouTube/Rihanna