When you’re a single mother looking to settle down, there are a few things you should be concerned about. Finding love as a single mother is not exactly difficult, but dating when you have a child is a different ball game entirely.
Here are a few tips to help:
1. Be intentional
It’s now more important than ever to know what you’re looking for and not waste time with anyone unwilling to offer you that. You cannot afford to put your energy into anyone that is wrong for you. So right from the first date, determine if you’re feeling this person. Otherwise, move on.
2. Don’t rush things
Just because you don’t have time to waste does not mean you should rush things. It may be tempting to speed up a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, but relationships need time to grow. So pace yourself. Finding love as a single mother is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.
3. Your child matters
Sure, you don’t need your kid to choose a partner for you but you cannot make a choice without considering your child. The person you’re dating has to understand that you’re a mother and your child takes priority. He should put in the effort into building some sort of relationship with your child, not just with you. He shouldn’t be so focused on moving forward with you that he forgets that you and your kid are a package deal. So, always watch for signs that he can handle that.
4. Don’t be scared
There’s a certain stigma with single parenthood in Nigeria. People tell you that you’ll have to settle or you won’t find a good partner simply because you’re a mother. Don’t let this negativity push you into making a decision based on fear. Don’t settle for someone because you’re just relieved he wants you. It’s better to stay single than to ‘manage’ a partner who would make your life and that of your child even worse off than before you met him.
You can also choose to date someone who’s in the same position as you. Here are four reasons to consider a relationship with a single dad.
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