Virginity. A concept we all know about, talk about and are strangely obsessed with. We have been made to believe it’s a valuable thing for every woman to keep and for a man to lose as early as possible. The female virginity is precious, special, and revered. And as for the man? Well, it’s probably better for his reputation if he’s not a virgin.
All of this boils down to the fact that women are shamed for having sex while men are rewarded for it. Where did this idea come from? Virginity is a social construct which can be traced to several origins. But they all promote a simple message – women have always been seen viewed as a commodity. For centuries, we have been encouraged to look, act, and talk a certain way. All so we can be ‘marketable’ to the menfolk. And one of the things our buyers (i.e the men) request is that we be sexually ‘pure’.
As a result, virginity became that thing women pride themselves in. But since we no longer consider ourselves to be properties and all, it is definitely time to let go of this concept.
It is sexist
Sure, virginity has become a concept that exists for guys in modern times, but it does not hold nearly as much significance as it is with women. Men aren’t judged or shamed for losing their virginity the wrong way. Meanwhile, women are expected to ‘save’ theirs until marriage (or death). In fact, in some parts of the world, losing your virginity as a single woman brings shame and dishonor, not only to you but to your entire family. As for the man, well, who cares, right?
It sends the wrong message about a woman’s worth
Virginity promotes the idea that a woman’s value is linked to the number of sexual partners she has had. For instance, a woman could literally be the worst person but if she has never had sex, she is automatically worthy.
It leads to slut-shaming
One has to wonder why the number of sexual partners a woman has should be a part of the conversation at all. The virginity ideal contributes to slut-shaming which promotes a sex-negative mindset for women. Basically, we are expected to feel bad for having an active sex life. And if we don’t, ‘society’ is responsible for reminding us just how ‘bad’ we are.
When you take a critical look at the idea of virginity, you’ll find that it absolutely serves no purpose. Except perhaps for the menfolk who just enjoy “putting us in our place” (sexually and otherwise).
At the end of the day, it’s all about choices
All this is not to say that there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin for whatever reason. You alone have the right to determine what to do with your body. The purpose of this is not to shame those who choose to wait, but to recognize that those who don’t shouldn’t be condemned for making decisions about their own body.
Oh, speaking of which, did you know that being a virgin for too long can cause health problems?
Featured Image via Giphy