There’s a reason why couples are usually advised to truly get to know each other during the dating phase. This time is not just about basking in the glow of being in love. It’s also your opportunity to talk to each other. It’s how you learn about one another’s personalities and determined if they are well-suited to yours.
One of the conversation topics usually revolves around the past. At some point, you should both share stories of your childhood. It’s not just a way of bonding with each other but it can also help you learn more about who you’re really dating. How your man talks about his childhood can be telling, especially when it comes to these factors.
The type of parent he’ll be
If, for instance, your man grew up in an abusive home and has mostly negative things to say about how he was raised, there’s a pretty high chance he plans to do the opposite as a parent. But if he has nothing but praises for how his parents raised him and talks about how great his childhood was, it could mean he would take his parenting cue from his own folks. But it’s not always black and white. For example, the childhood stories that may seem terrible to you can be normal to him. So if you disagree with his views, this is the time to express yours. Otherwise, you may have some conflicts when it comes to parenting.
His relationship expectations
He does not need to outrightly tell you that he considers it your role as a woman to do his dishes and stay home to make babies. But if he grew up in a home where his mother was the ‘traditional’ woman and he completely approves of that dynamic, that could be his expectations in his relationship and marital life as well. Of course, he may grow up in a home like this and want something different. That’s why it’s not the experience, but the way he talks about it that matters.
How he loves
There are many ways in which our childhood experience affects our romantic relationships as adults. According to Psychology Today, people who grew up in homes where their parents were not responsive to their emotional needs may have difficulties expressing their feelings as adults. They are more likely to keep secrets and shut down when their partner shows affection.
Children who experienced constant neglect or abuse may also have a fear of intimacy as adults. They find it difficult to trust people and are very uncomfortable with showing affection. The most emotionally open and healthy people are those who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes. These types of partners are usually more secure and confident. They also have no problems expressing their feelings for you and are emotionally available as well.
To keep things strong between you two, you may want to find out why calling each other pet names can be a good thing for your relationship.
Featured Image via NBC/This Is Us