I recently started seeing a guy and we have been getting along well. We talk on the phone every day and spend hours chatting with each other. This has been going on for about a month now and we like each other a lot.
The issue now is that I have a 4-year-old child from a past relationship. The child’s father is still in the picture and sometimes comes to visit our boy but there’s nothing going on between him and me. I am yet to tell the guy I’m dating that I am a single mother. But now that I have started having feelings for him, I don’t know how to go about it.
Should I wait a while to see what comes of this relationship or do I tell him I have a child now? Also, can you advise on a way to let him know that my child won’t cause problems for us?
Thanks in advance,
The first thing you need to know is that being a single mother isn’t some big, dark secret that requires some grand revelation. Being a mother is a beautiful, positive thing and until you start seeing it as such, you will have problems in the dating world.
It is smart to share something like this as early as possible in the relationship and in a casual way. You don’t need to get all dark and gloomy and then go “I have to tell you something.” Simply bring up your kid in a conversation. You might say, for example, “It’s really nice to have a grown-up conversation. I spent all day debating with my 4-year-old about which PJ Mask is the best!”
The good news is that it’s not too late. You can still find a way to bring up the fact that you’re a mom. The key is to take note of his reaction but don’t make a big deal out of it. If he seems surprised, simply change the subject. This way, you give him some time to adjust. Of course, if he has questions, be sure to answer them as honestly as you can.
Finally, do not take a rejection personally. Yes, it’s possible that he may pull away if he is not interested in dating a single mother. That’s fine. The good thing about bringing this up earlier on is that it’s easy to move past it if he isn’t on board.
Dating as a single mother can come with its own sets of challenges. But stay positive and confident and chances are, you’ll attract the right person.
What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, read Jay’s advice to a woman whose boyfriend won’t invite her to his home.
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