He's Not Doing You A Favour By Marrying You - ZUMIZUMI

He’s Not Doing You A Favour By Marrying You – Time To Get Out Of That Headspace

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In this part of the world, female children are usually and unfortunately groomed for marriage. In fact, girls aren’t raised, they are “trained.” As a result, we grow up with the idea that we have to compete with other women for the ultimate goal – a man.

This mode of thinking often has us doing some pretty extreme things to win this ‘race’. We see finding a man as a trophy, something you’re being presented with for being such a ‘good woman’. In turn, the man who sees himself as a gift will automatically think he’s doing you a favour by choosing you out of all your other ‘competitors.’

This idea can become very dangerous because, at some point, you’ll find yourself accepting things you shouldn’t accept because you’re supposed to be forever grateful for being the chosen one. It’s time to get out of this headspace by remembering these three things.

doing you a favour

(Photo: Thought Catalog)

You’re capable all on your own

This is one of the reasons why women are often encouraged to embrace being single instead of always desperately seeking a partner. You should spend time on your own and learn to take care of your own needs. It helps you to realize that you’re much more capable than you think. In fact, you see yourself as an asset to any man that wants to be with you. You start to look at relationships from the angle of what each of you brings to the table as opposed to focusing only on what you should do to please him. Being with each other becomes a mutual decision made out of your respective free will.

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Your needs matter

When you’re constantly about repaying his favour by only fulfilling his needs, it’s easy for yours to take a backseat. Ask yourself, what are your relationship expectations? In what areas would you want your partner to show up for you? When you’re getting what you need from him, instead of just giving, the relationship is more balanced.

doing you a favour

(Photo: ABC)

You have the choice to say no

When you’ve been brainwashed with the idea that you should be grateful if a ‘societally acceptable’ man looks your way, it can make you feel like you have no choice but to say yes. But we’re talking about your future here so you need to remember that you have a choice. You can walk away from a guy who looks good on paper but just isn’t working for you. You can walk away after you’ve built a relationship with him, married him and even had kids together. Being with someone is a choice you make every single day. And when you’re unhappy, you should always remember that you have the choice to say no.

Stop putting so much energy into repaying a favour that you forget who you are and what you’re worth.

For more, here are signs you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

Featured Image via Giphy

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