Dear Doctor Bisi,
I got married last year, but during our honeymoon and the two weeks we spent together, my husband couldn’t penetrate. I got married a virgin so we knew it would be a bit tricky and painful but we didn’t expect it to be so difficult.
We tried everything. We were advised to take it slow and we did but it was still painful and he barely penetrated me. I decided I’ll bear the pain but even then we couldn’t make love. My husband lives abroad so he has gone back but he’ll soon be home again. Doctor please what can I do? I can’t afford for my husband to come back again and not be able to make love to me.
It sounds like you have vaginismus. This is where the muscles of your vagina squeeze up or contract when something is entering it, in your case a penis. These contractions can either prevent sex or make it very painful. To address this issue, you’ll need to see a sex therapist because vaginismus is mostly a mind thing, and so therapy is the only treatment.
The condition usually occurs in women with a history of sexual abuse or trauma and it can be causes by other emotional factors such as fear of painful sex. If you’ve been through any of this, please confide in your husband and see a therapist. Therapy is usually the best way to solve this issue. All the best.
Doctor Bisi is a specialist in reproductive medicine. If you have any questions for her, please send them to [email protected].
Meanwhile, here’s Doctor Bisi’s advice to women who are trying to conceive.