In a perfect world, you’ll introduce your man to your parents and they will immediately fall in love with him the way you do. Unfortunately, this does not always happen.
It’s very crucial that you understand how to handle a situation where your parents disapprove of the man you want to marry.
Do they have a good reason?
The first thing you need to do is to understand your parents’ reasons for not liking your partner. Talk to them and hear them out. It is possible that there was something he did, said, or you said about him that was misunderstood. A simple explanation can sort this out.
If they are worried about a difference in tribe, religion or values, for instance, you can come from a place of understanding. Here’s the thing, older people are more likely to place a strong importance on these differences. This is because deep down, they fear that you may give up who they raised you to be and end up following something different. If you suspect this might be the case, then you may want to acknowledge their opinion. In addition, make them understand that you are not discarding who you are just because you’re getting married.
Don’t get defensive
Fighting, arguing or yelling is not the best way to deal with things when your parents disapprove of the man you want to marry. You’re the one caught in the middle here and it’s up to you to be diplomatic about your reaction. You won’t help matters by screaming and slamming doors. If you understand where they’re coming from and you cannot change their minds, then it’s time to make a decision.
Can you handle it?
You have two choices when your parents disapprove of the man you want to marry. You can either end things or continue on anyway. If you do choose to go through with the marriage despite your parents’ reservations then you have to accept that there may be a few bumps in the way. You must figure out ways to protect your marriage from your parents’ criticisms. This does not mean you hide from your parents altogether as this will only make things worse. Give them your love and respect, but also offer the same to your partner.
Keep in mind that not all marriages you see today happen because both parents are completely accepting of their children’s choices. Sometimes, it takes patience, maturity and understanding to make things work even when the love isn’t there.
On the flip side, read about how to deal with it when your partner’s mother hates you.
Will you marry someone your parents do not approve of? Share your thoughts below.